The little voice inside of YOUR head as you see my new blog post come up... sounds in MY head, a little like this:
“Where the heck has she been?
No blog for a year or more, and here she is trying to pop up and interject little doses of enlightenment, recipes and ‘pretty’ into our day.
Nuh-uh, I don’t think so! Who do you think you are?”
Whether that is what you are thinking, or it’s my inner voice of fear chirping, somehow I am still compelled to create, explain, and apologize even.
So, I write anyway.
Sometimes when you are incredibly off purpose life shakes you to the core so deeply and painfully it takes years to recover and go though it.
That happened to me.
Sitting alone in my new apartment containing my new at home office, everything is different in my life since I last blogged to you. Material possessions, those I choose to spend my time with, my ability to love and be in love, how much I love myself and most of all the vision of my purpose and meaning in my career and on this earth... Everything in my life has done a 180 and I am finally ready to share.
Being off purpose shook me to the core because in many ways, I was living exactly the opposite. It’s hard not to in this world.
I am ready to tell a new story for the next generation.
I’m ready to empower women to let go of these false images of beauty and success.
I am ready to step in to this power myself.
So, here it goes.
Although the core principles of Eating Pretty Nutrition have always included sprinkles of love and self-love, I realize now it’s hard to portray the message when the leader is off the mark.
What I have come to realize in my journey in the ‘wellness’ industry is that living in today’s society is a one-way ticket to an unhealthy body image, low self-worth and unrealistic views of what is important.
Our marks of living your ‘best life’ are fame, money and being hot. But yet we forget one VERY key component to this equation. OUR HAPPINESS.
Similar to every girl in her 20's, the last decade of my life has been filled with many ups and downs. As I look back now to the times where I had money, was at my fittest and was getting attention for these reasons... I was painfully unhappy and void of true love from outward sources, and certainly within.
You know what the worst part was?
My brain would automatically turn to thoughts like:
“I better eat only chicken, broccoli and less carbs, then I will be happier.”
“I better up my cardio to twice a day, then I will be happier”
“I better become famous and get my own TV show, then I will be happier”
“I better finish my book and tour with it, then I will be happier”
“I better make a million dollars, then I will be happier”
“I better become more social and be in the ‘scene’ more, then I will be happier”
“I better get a boyfriend, then I will be happier”
and you know what happened, the opposite.
My body, mind and life crumbled around me.
I lost the will to workout because extreme cardio and heavy weight-lifting that debilitated my day, and me, was all I knew.
I lost the will to predominately eat animal protein; in fact I preferred a more vegetarian based diet. And it wasn’t always the best choices.
I had many opportunities for television, media and other ‘fame’ driven goals. None of them worked out.
I’ve had a book deal for months, yet my body and brain simply wouldn’t write it. Now I know it was because the messaging and purpose were way off.
I certainly was not a millionaire. Sometimes when bums on the street would ask me for money, I would tear up. Not because I felt bad for them, but because they had more money than me in their little cups.
And of course when all this crumbled around me, the fake friendships and people who validated me for the wrong reasons did too. I lost many friends, questioned many more and became quite the hermit.
In being a hermit it closed me off to love, or I chased the wrong kinds. Mostly, it just made me chase people who didn’t deserve it and hurt people who didn’t deserve it. Neither feels good at all.
I finish writing the prior paragraph and it makes me feel sick, scared to post this, terrified of judgment, and also… excited.
Excited that I can be a vessel of change for the way we are conditioned as women today. Excited that I have seen my own light, I am real, I go through the same things you all do and I know how to show you how to get out of it.
So here is what I do know now....
Telling women how to have a fast fix in the fat department is a skill of mine, but not my calling. I am an example first hand of how that leads to rebounding and unhappiness. I know now, you need to address life as a full picture.
If I could have one purpose in this world it would be to un-do media’s impact on the female mind. It would be to show women that beautiful is in every size, as long as you feel healthy and treat yourself well. It would be that self-love is the number one tool in achieving anything – including weight loss. It would be that there is no such thing a ‘the magic number of calories’ or ‘a weight loss super food’.
I want women to see that fueling your body eating whole ‘pretty’ foods that the earth provides us with makes you beautiful inside and out. Life is not about restriction in order to hit the ‘ideal weight’. In fact there is no such thing as the ideal weight. What a 20-year-old photo-shopped model looks like on a billboard is not what 99% of the population looks like.
I’ve been that girl trying to be that ‘ideal weight’. I dedicated a good portion of my 20’s to trying to be something that I am not. For a few good photos or empty compliments I ended up lonely, sick, uncomfortable in my own skin, had a false sense of self and got attention for the wrong reasons. Most of all it screwed with my mind so deeply that as I near my 30th birthday, I am still fighting of the remnants of damage I did over 5 years ago.
Every woman battles with self-image and food-related issues.
Why? Because we are brainwashed by the media’s messages and fad-diets. We are trained to believe restriction is beauty and that there is only one ideal body type.
How insane is that when you think about it logically?
There are billions of people on the planet made up of all different structures. I don’t know about you, but I’ve come across thousands of women that are beautiful and not one of them looks the same.
What is beautiful to me, is simple:
1) Someone who takes care of themselves in a healthy manner by getting exercise, eating pretty and indulging too!
2) Someone who loves herself. Confidence, self respect and taking yourself as a priority… in my eyes there is nothing hotter on a woman than self-love!
3) Someone who keeps the balance in all areas of life. Food, exercise, love, work, goals, material items and indulgences. Too much or too little of any of these can throw you way off kilter. Beauty is balance.
Sounds simple, and ideal, right?
You know what the craziest thing is? In the beginning, If I marketed myself and my business like this, most of you would have run for the hills thinking I wouldn’t help you lose weight or was ‘too hokey’.
But you know what? I have seen weight loss successes beyond my wildest dreams in my clients. And the difference is the people who did it the ‘right way’. Members of the new website who follow these principles of treating themselves well and letting go of the outcomes, knowing it will happen and that the process feels good – those are the ones who change their own lives and weight forever.
Because by transforming your lifestyle, un-learning bad food habits and knowing that 'contrary to popular marketing beliefs' nothing happens overnight - permanent change and growth is inevitable.
Whether you are 170lbs with muscle and curves or 120lbs and petite…
Your best body will shine through when you live your best and balanced life.
Not all of us are billboard skinny, and that is a good thing!
Beautiful is a girl who eats right, works out and lives a happy and full life.
Not the one, who dramatically yo-yo’s, believes in double cardio, eats only animal protein, does things for validation, and is unhappy. Trust me.
Don’t suffer in order to be something you are not. Embrace and love yourself. Beauty is in everyone. Let’s delete the stigma, “You have to suffer to be beautiful”.
“You need to love yourself to be beautiful” is more like it!
In closing, I want to be clear that I am not saying that you should eat un-natural foods, live an unhealthy lifestyle, not workout out, party, not treat yourself well and that ‘people should accept that’. Not at all.
What I am saying is, when you choose to live your life in balance of eating pretty, exercise that you actually enjoy, keeping indulgences in balance based on what feels good, and being loving to others and onto yourself – you will be the best version of you and people WILL accept that.
Not trying to fit into this mold that society paints, trying to be something you are not, or throwing away your health and saying ‘screw it.’
Trust me, I’ve been them all.
Be the best possible version of you! It really does feel the best.
Whether you did have that negative voice in your head about me in the beginning of this blog or not, I hope you changed your minds and shared in my passionate thoughts and feelings as you read.
I could go on forever. Somehow I don’t think I have writer’s block for that book of mine anymore…
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